Thus Bakes Zarathustra

True confession: I cannot use goats cheese without thinking of Bobby Bottleservice.

Another true confession: I cannot make sandwiches without thinking of this song.

So when I decided to make these carrot and olive tapenade sandwiches, there was a lot going on in my head.  A lot of dirty, conflicted things about vodka and pickles and Ed Hardy t-shirts and jelly wrestling and paparazziredcarpet.  I don’t often make sandwiches, as it just feels like too much effort of a morning. It’s far easier to grab a container of something I made and froze on the weekend like an old person and eat it at my desk under the air conditioning. But these sandwiches, of marinated, nay, pickled sliced carrot, olive tapenade and GOATS CHEESE (because I care about food) looked easy, unusual and potentially delicious. And they were. I just made everything on a Sunday evening, and it was no trouble to throw together a sandwich on my way out the door. Try them.

Carrot Sandwiches
Via, sniff, Gourmet. Makes 6 sammiches.  

For carrots:

• 450g carrots (around 8, but I used fewer, around 6-7)
• Juice of half a lemon
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 2 tsp paprika
• 2 tsp paprika (I used pimenton)
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 cayenne
• Salt
• 1/4 cup olive oil.

For tapenade

• 1 1/4 cups pitted green olives. I asked for pitted, but when my food processor began to make noises like a pit bull chewing ornamental gravel I realised the olive seller lied to me
• 3 tbsp capers, drained
• Big handful flat leaf parsley
• Zest and juice of a lemon
• Pepper
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• Chevre, around 100g or so

Peel and halve carrots, then thinly slice lengthwise. I pushed them horizontally through my food processor with the slicing disc attached. In a large bowl, whisk together spices, lemon juice and olive oil. Bring a large pan of salted water to boil, then add the carrot slices and blanch for around 30 seconds. Drain, then tip immediately into the bowl with the dressing. Turn to coat, and fridge for a couple of hours.
To make tapenade, combine all ingredients except olive oil and goats cheese in food processor with the chopping blade fitted. Pulse to chunkily combine, then add the olive oil in a thin stream with the motor running.

To make sandwiches, spread one piece of bread with chevre, the other with tapenade. Add a generous amount of marinated carrots. Sandwich. Eat. Dream of t-shirts with dragons riding skate boards.